Fear of missing out comes in all shapes and sizes. I know for me it happens anytime I see friends at a dinner or an event I didn’t attend. Sometimes invited and sometimes not. This is more about my kids and what events they do or don't attend. With all the showcases and tournaments you can literally go broke attending all the things your kid will be invited to. Saying no thanks is almost more important than the things you say ok and register for. With August 1 here and the recruiting window opening for Joey in his Jr year of high school we were pretty excited with his conversations. Needless to say he has missed every large event the last 18 months. He did not make a single event. Yet he had 8 or 9 great conversations with some of the largest college baseball programs in the country.
This got me thinking about all the events, travel and cost that we go through for the ever elusive "Scholarship". Now to be fair he has grown quite a bit and happens to be a left handed pitcher so yes there are certain factors that attribute to this but over all he still did not attend a single event. I am sure his previous interest that started in 8th grade carried over through his injury and post op but it still goes to show that you can miss things and be ok.
Last week was PGF Nationals where the majority of the best softball teams get together and play one another. There is now a new league which has drawn some of the top teams and this is why I say majority as opposed to "All the best teams". Anyhow it is the end of the season and end of the summer where a champion is crowned and teams from all across the country gather to play one another. It still doesn't matter. I sat next to a few college coaches as our liaison and spoke with them about players they were there watching. Some of them were hurt and some of them were balling out. The irony was that only a few of the coaches were the head coaches and only then a few of them seemed to be watching pitch by pitch. My point was that it seemed like they already knew who or what they were looking for.
Here is my point. It is ok to not go. It is ok to say my child is injured or my child doesn't feel right and we are going to miss. I am not saying to miss and go to Hawaii and leave the team down, I am merely saying if you are injured then you are injured. No sense is breaking yourself to demonstrate some sense of loyalty. Playing hurt and playing injured are two different things. You can work through hurt or some small amount of pain but injury is what it is and it is ok to rest your body and mind.
The hardest thing so far we have had to do as parents is watch our Child's team go on without him and carry on as if he was never there. In hindsight it was the absolute best thing for our child however. He is mentally refreshed. His body is absolutely rested and he most importantly misses the sport he so dearly loves. He had not missed a game let alone a season in almost 10 years so this past season has been gut wrenching but here we are hoping to see another 10 seasons and hopefully more.
I hear my buddy tell me that 80% of our time with our children is spent prior to them turning 18. That is scary to think of as my kids are getting closer to that age. Instead of fear of missing out on their games or schedule I imagine I should start to fear just not seeing them. Enjoy the time you have and whatever they love to do as I am sure we will all miss this once it's done.
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