Since retiring from Law Enforcement, I have had some great days and low days. The most recent great day was one that made me think of this blog and so here it is. As I transition from a social media life where my name was spelled wrong and I rarely gave any public opinions or biases, my new life requires me to be an open book. My name and phone number are plastered all over the internet and I actually pay for a website to increase this recognition lol. Going from a circle of maybe 2-3 hundred people online now to thousands is a change and a challenge.
Avoiding an old acquaintance as a cop was easy. Hell, avoiding some family members was easy but truth be told it was lame. Of course I wanted to comment on everything or add everyone. I love seeing peoples lives on the internet and all the cool stuff and food they're eating but I didn't necessarily want to share. I had to cite people, fight people and sometimes arrest people. I was fortunate that I never had to really hurt anyone and I will forever be grateful for it. Both departments I worked for I also lived in the community. So it was almost a certainty that my personal life and cop life would commingle all too often. How I handled that I believe was my best attribute.
This however did not come without a cost. Was I the "best" cop? NO. How can you be when every other day you are pulling over a friend of a friend or getting a call from a co-worker saying "someone dropped your name again". I tried like hell to play it off but it was an issue. My co-workers felt I was either soft or not "in it" like they were sometimes and that was tough. We were a team and had to deal with some very heavy stuff sometimes and I wanted them to know I was there for them. Did I care if a speeding ticket did not get written or a parking ticket wasn't left on a windshield? No not really but it was a balancing act for 10 years and it kind of weighed on my conscience.
So onto the instance I am referring to that happened this week. Earlier in my career I was trying to figure out this balancing act. Most cops don't get into law enforcement to write tickets. That is a special gut ache reserved for the few but arresting people and chasing bad guys was the thrill. It didn't happen quite like you may think but either way it was a fun part of the career. Until those handcuffs come out for a friend, former friend or public official. In this case I had a buddy (let's call him Tupac) for theatrical purposes. Tupac was a buddy of mine in my late 20's and early 30's. We became friends through a mutual coworker and played softball together and hung out. He had kids that were friends with my nephew and was a good dude. Time went by and as I became a cop and left my old career I did not see Tupac that often. A few years into my law enforcement career I came across Tupac in some lows. He had lost his company, he had lost his prize possessions and had become a different person then the guy I was friends with. There came a few times where I had to arrest Tupac and that sucked. The thing about me though was that I had been a punk kid. I had been in trouble. I was not perfect. I always tried to remember these things as a cop and to allow those feelings of compassion and empathy flow through me as a cop. Not always but I tried. The other thing about me was that I was a loyal friend. Sometimes to a fault and sometimes I was a shitty friend if I'm being honest, taking more than I give but loyal always. So one day I ran into Tupac behind the local grocery store. He had a considerable warrant and was headed back to jail. I decided that day to go and talk to him before alerting the whole department what was going on. He tells me that he is about to get things back on track and has some things lined up. I get up on my soapbox and start to kind of give him this higher than thou speech when it kind of hits me that he doesn't need to hear me, an old friend lecturing him. Something in my chest said to shut up and just tell him that I believed him and hoped he would succeed. Right around this time, a co-worker shows up with me. I think we were meeting for coffee or some routine and he realizes it's Tupac. He says oh man you got a good hook. (Term for an arrest). I go and talk to Tupac and tell him I hope he has some stuff lined up because I was not going to arrest him. He left that day. I have not seen him in years. I caught a lot of crap from my coworker that day.
Now as JLO I have a new social media presence and I saw Tupac pop up on my possible friends list. I did not add him. To be honest it's been a couple months. It was not an immediate thing. Then I got to this point. Why not? Let's see what he is all about. I am super excited to announce that he sent me this.
To say that I am a grown adult who had a few tears of joy in my eyes would not be a lie. I was so stoked for him. I was stoked for his kids, his families and his new life. Being a cop had some absolute highs and lows. Do I miss it? Not really. Do I miss the people and co-workers? Absolutely. Having a new public persona is weird and I don't love all of it but I also didn't love the secret life either. I hope now as JLo I will be able to help people in a different way but still have those tears of joy from time to time.
Cheers to helping friends and sometimes helping those you think may be beyond help. You just never know what a few words of encouragement or just a few words not said may get rolling in the right direction.
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