Where it started and how it's going 5 to 17

I wanted all my blogs to be funny and the truth is most of them are in some way or another sarcastically ribbing myself or a close friend. As I found an old hard drive with some unbelievable photos, this one caught my eye. This blog will be all about Joey and the man he is becoming and what and where he is going.

Ever since he was able to walk the guy had a ball, a glove, a lacrosse stick, a helmet, a skateboard or something that meant he was outside competing. This has been his whole life. I embraced his competitiveness as I never really had it. I was recently speaking to my friend's adult son explaining how I think we push our kids to be good at things we were lacking. I always remember Angel saying I looked shy when playing basketball as I didn't really want the rebound. The truth was she was right. If I had to try too hard I’d shy away so as to not lose. For me the fear of losing was much greater than the triumph of winning. I think somewhere deep down I wanted that to be different for my kids.

As a young child it was sometimes hard and I remember older parents explaining that I was being too tough on him. I was gonna be sorry when he got older. He was too competitive to a point where his friends were only athletes that could compete. His groups of elementary friends were great. They all played at recess and I even remember his kindergarten teacher telling us that in all her years she never had a group of boys so organized and competitive with each other and still be friends. You see in this picture above Joey is wearing baseball pants. He was not even old enough to be on a team. However, he wanted to wear the uniform. Always. Did not matter where we were going he had to have it on. I remember him wearing cleats to school and out to the park like they were tennis shoes. 

That competitiveness played out through the years and was great but not always. When it came to being on the field or court he was relentless, however when it came to making new friends after the whole family moved it wasn't great. Sure there were competitive kids but they weren't the same boys from kindergarten they weren't the same kids you watched go through all the braces and broken bones. Moving to a new town at middle school was a great move for us. It would be easy to talk about all the great things that happened like a bigger home or a better job or better schools or whatever but what doesn't go great sometimes lingers. 

As Joey made new friends, so did the rest of the family. We started to realize that Joey was one of many good boys in sports. There were for a lack of better words or descriptions "Joeys' ' already here. So when you add your alpha inspired child into an adolescent world full of other alpha boys sometimes it does not go great. Part of me always knew that Joey would have to face this challenge at some point whether it be in High School or College but at middle school it seemed a lot sooner and some parts felt harsher. 

Then came his injury and a 18 month hiatus from competition. This is where the real journey began. You see as my kid sat out I started to realize that everyone is in their own race of life and watching their kids do their thing. No one is really concerned with your kid's journey. I should not say "No One" there are a few and those are the diamonds in the rough. It is true however that most people just don't have the bandwidth to accommodate all of their family dealings to add in others. I think most of us can relate. 

The part that gets me is the lack of positivity for other kids when they are doing something great or even just good. I would often hear parents just belittling what another kid was doing or that it was fake or not really as good as that parent proclaimed it be. I started to realize that most parents now felt comfortable saying these things because I was not really in the ring since Joey was out of the competition circle. It made me scratch my head. The real truth is that I don't think my son is in competition with any of his friends. He is competing against the rest of the world and the world is a big place.

An example I often use when this topic comes up is that my son and daughter have played with some absolute phenoms. Parents will be so quick to ask. Is he really that good or is she even good enough to go to that school? I understand the curiosity as a parent. I understand when these other players commit to play at the next level and wonder where your child stacks up. What I don't understand is the hatred or jealousy. I think of this so much. Jealousy sounds like such a strong word but what else is it? Maybe lack of self esteem but either way it is just wack. Being happy for another child should not diminish your kids success.

Angel and I often have to tame our excitement or exciting news about our kids' success as we do not want to offend our friends or family with it being taken as bragging or conceited. We often say nothing and just congratulate the other player or child on whatever it is that is happening. Well I think after these last 2 years of ups and downs it has taught me this. Tomorrow's game may never come so I am going to celebrate now. I am humbled and honored that my child is good but I don't think I can hold it in any longer. I don't think I should have to. If me telling you about my kids' success somehow makes you uncomfortable then we probably aren't true friends. My Child's success should not diminish anything about yours. It should only bolster that together they are friends and if the saying is true that “you are the sum of the company you keep” then we as parents should want all our kids to succeed at whatever it is they are pursuing. 

With Joey now standing at 6'5 and 210 lbs throwing in the 90's from the left side, I don't think I need to tell you he is good. I do need to tell you that I am proud of the man he is becoming. He is not without fault and he is not without attitude like a 17 year old but he is working towards becoming the man we had hoped he would one day become. He has dealt with naysayers for the last 2 years and now is his time to shine and I love it. 

He had 3 separate conversations last night with top SEC baseball program coaches. They all just about said the same thing when it came to what they like about him. His intensity and his competitiveness. To compete at that level I have to imagine he will need thick skin. I think moving in 6th grade allowed him to work on that skin a little earlier than most. It looks like it is paying off in the right direction. Still a ton of work to do but to that little 5 year old who wore a cup and baseball pants to school don't stop being you. We are proud of you no matter what you end up doing but yes I will be holding you to the promise where you said you would buy mom a house and dad a Lambo regardless of your career path. Sorry I don't make the rules. A promise is a promise even if it came from a  5 year old.