Why a good coach is like Santa and a bad one is like the Grinch.

As I approach my milestone of 1 blog a week it was only fitting that I received a request to write a blog on "Bad Coaches". It is a tough blog to write as my kids have played for awesome coaches most of their journey so far. This blog however is easy to write and I will address it to myself. I have been a coach now for almost 23 years. I started when my nephew was in T-Ball and now he is an old man lol.

Oh the things I have learned.... Let's get my reference in the title out of the way. Everyone loves St Nick. It's easy. The big guy always delivers and takes care of everyone. Slam Dunk, we do not need to really talk about good coaches because what makes them a good coach is how they make you feel individually as well as leave your child in a better position than when they started. Simple.

"The Bad Coach" is so much like the Grinch it is almost funny. You see the Grinch, if you are familiar, is just a misunderstood "Who". He happens to be the Grinch because of his past experiences and thinks the way he thinks because of those experiences. He did not start out as a Grinch, he was turned into it. I believe this to be true with these coaches. I believe in my heart that most if not all Coaches start off with great intentions. They start in order to help their child or someone they care for and it morphs into years of experience. 

I have already talked about the Daddy ball effect and I can skip this. Some people like the Grinch, in fact they think he is justified in his means. Same goes for some bad coaches because remember if you have a team I can assure you the lead off hitter who plays every inning probably has a different opinion of their coach then the 16th player who rarely gets in. Bad coaches also think they are good coaches. They think that being mean is part of learning. Sometimes they are right, sometimes they are wrong. 

As a previous coach now with some experience I think I would be a way better coach when let's say I have grandchildren. I can understand that some of my positions when my kids were little were way over the top. Dare I say "Bad Coach" tendencies. I remember being in a coaches meeting with another coach who was my friend and being so upset we almost got into a fight over it. Was I right? How could I be if that was the outcome. Did I think I was? Of course. Would I handle that differently now? Of course. Here are some examples of my "Grinch" like theories. 10 year old's should be playing their primary position all the time. That's what 6-8 year olds were for. Haha what a dork I was. Thinking that at 10 we should be playing only the best. I was wrong. 

I can also remember a year where I was coaching and we almost had a kid quit. I pulled him aside and persuaded him to stay. I remember the other coaches giving me crap because if we would have not had him we would have been much better but that was not the point in my "Good Coach" brain. My goal was to make the kid who could not get a hit do just that. In fact that year he did not have a single base hit until the end of the season. It was such a victory for him that I remember that moment so much more than any other that year. 

This part is straight to the coaches. If you are the reason a kid loses the love for the game then you are the Grinch and not the funny one we see on Tim Tok ripping into the waitress in a funny manner. You are the stealer of presents and joy and need to re-evaluate your being. Yes I agree that some parents are hard to handle and that some kids also are hard to handle but that is the point of the job. If you signed up just so your kid could play more than you are also the Grinch. Being a good coach is not always about playing kids equal or making sure "everyone wins' '. In fact being a good coach is helping that star player understand why maybe they are not playing every inning as they always have. Teaching them to be a great teammate and picking up the kid who just made an error at their position and picking em up. In fact, being a good coach has almost nothing to do with winning the game and everything to do with making sure all the kids on your team have become better at something that season. 

We often learn so much more in defeat that we do in victory. I often hear that if you are good at losing then you are just a loser and I can agree to that, but if you can bounce back from a loss and not repeat those reasons you lost then you got me in your corner. For those of you who think you have always had a bad coach then understand that your luck is not that bad. You are probably part of the reason and that is a tough pill to swallow. Your child's success in life will be your job to guide and not a coach or college liaison. You are the captain of the ship. These people are simply your supporting cast. If you do not understand how to sail that ship then you better start reading up and understanding who the people you trust are.

Merry Christmas everyone and just for the record I still kind of like the Grinch just not all of his shenanigans lol.