Why I wished Travel Ball would die.

Hopefully the title was not too daunting and gloomy, I hope the subtlety of the "wished" would in fact catch your attention along with the head line. There are so many things wrong in youth sports. So many. As I become an old man I remember the excitement of the All Star teams and games that my kids would be selected for and the overwhelming sense of pride and joyfulness that would come with it. Little did I know that once I entered this world it would never stop. Not until it was too late.

You see, I am still in the world. This past weekend I decided to upset the dynamics of the world and bring my son up to the Russian River for a golf tournament with my cousins. Some who my son has only met at weddings, funerals and Christmas gatherings. In fact he did not want to go shocking I know but it was not an option. On the 2.5 hour drive there I reminisce about my fond summers of childhood where my family and I would go to the river house and have some of the best summers I can remember. When I went off to college our house was ruined in a hillside and my grandfather did not rebuild this home. I was explaining to Joey how much fun he would have had at that house and he responded "I am glad it is gone, I like my life the way it is."

That was when it really hit me smack dab in the face. You see what I miss for my kids is what I had as a kid. However my kids don't miss my childhood, why would they? You think I miss my parents' childhood? Slammed in a house with 4 siblings, living in the heart of San Francisco, going to private school? No shot my life was way better or so I thought and so do my kids. I would argue that my kids are winning if I am keeping tabs but hey that is just me. My point of it all is that what my kids now have instead of Russian River is PG All American and PGF Nationals or Colorado Sparkler. They have memories and they are awesome. They are not spent lounging by the river or pool eating ice cream. Instead they are grinding away in games that may not mean anything in reality but to them it means the world. They are paving their road and their memories. 

This is why I changed this title from wish to wished. It made me understand that even if I had to do it all over again I am sure I might change a few things, ultimately I am happy with where they are because I feel they are happy. I also watched Dawn Staley (South Carolina Basketball Head Coach )say: "Your parents don't want you to fail, but I love you enough to allow you to fail". Man if that ain't the truth. Tell me when the last time I set my kid up for failure. Tell me the last time I let my kid walk into traffic. Ok that may be a stretch as safety but you know what I mean. Travel ball has exposed my kids to failure that I as their parent would have never allowed. It is only by this failure that they truly grow. Sure I would rather be on a beach somewhere instead of at Rainbow fields in Modesto. I am sure my kids will not appreciate the sacrifices that Angel and I have made for them but if we are only doing it to be noticed then are we really doing it for our kids? I do not think so. 

As much as I hate travel ball and so much of what it stands for I also love that it has shown my children failure and allowed them to grow. It has allowed them to understand that their effort given will be measured against their peers' effort and give them feedback as to where to work harder and where to focus more. I wish I could say that at home I can provide them with all this but the truth is we cannot replicate bleachers full of strangers cheering for you or against you. The outcome of glory or defeat is a dopamine dump that only real life can create.

It is also allowing me to grow as a person. I have endured some odd emotions from the way my children are treated. Some people have been so nice I am not sure how to receive their compliments. It causes me to be nicer and more humble. There have been plenty of haters and people who just can not seem to root for children and where my heart was full of anger towards these people I believe I am growing to understand that anger is really pity. There is so much room in this world for all our kids to succeed. A buddy of mine recently said "If you stay in your own lane there's no traffic." Man that one hit hard. Stop looking at other kids and their path. Help your children succeed with what they have been given right or wrong. If you go out of your way to disrupt another child's path then shame on you, do not be this person. To all the other parents who I know have sacrificed so much in the name of our kids competing I say Cheers! To all the haters who can't seem to just cheer on the kid's I say go to church, God don't like ugly. Let's play ball.